


Questions and Answers

by Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness



Category: Holby City
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 18:38:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15443334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness/pseuds/Mystic_Girl_84_Blackness
Summary: Dom is happy with Lofty, but he has a question that's been playing on his mind for a while. He decides to ask Lofty and in turn reveals something about himself.





	Questions and Answers

It was a warm late summer afternoon. Lofty was around Dom’s though to be honest it was as much Lofty’s as Dom’s. They even made use of the spare room if they were on opposite shifts so as not to wake each other. Lofty loved Dom’s home, it felt homelier than his did. They weren’t quite ready to make the commitment of living in one home yet, but Lofty knew they were almost there. They were both lying on the sofa, some mindless TV in the background, relaxing after an early shift. It was a very domestic scene and Dom would honestly have stayed with his head rested in Lofty’s lap forever if he could, but he’d been thinking a lot recently and trying to work up the courage to ask Lofty more about his life before Holby. Even with Dom, Lofty was still strangely private unless asked directly. Dom had learnt not to skirt around an issue a while ago, but asking a direct question, generally got the best answer. He glanced at the gold ring on his finger. Lofty's grandfather's and felt his heart fill with pride. It gave him the confidence to ask a question, that in part he feared the answer to  
"Can I ask you a question?" Dom asked quietly.  
Lofty glanced down at his fiancé who was currently resting his head in his lap  
"Of course" Lofty answered with a smile intrigued  
"When we did the proposal, and you said you'd never done this before... What were you referring to? I mean you'd done the engagement thing before right with that girl, did you mean with a man?"   
"I meant with anyone, Alice and I sort of fell into it. There was no big proposal, no big gestures... I didn't feel anything like that with her, not the way I feel for you" Lofty said putting his thoughts in order. Dom looked up in surprise and Lofty smiled, though it was a sad smile.  
"When I left Holby, I was in a dark place, I don’t think I had ever felt so low. Nothing seemed worth it, everything I seemed to do, never went right and I had just had enough of this helpless feeling, of being clumsy, boring Lofty. A friend of mine was doing a walk for charity and I decided to give it ago, give something back to people and help, well pick me up really. My confidence was low, to be honest I didn't think I could do nursing anymore and I just wanted to escape from my mistakes. I couldn't stay, so I did a sponsored walk with my friend. I had every intention of retraining but then fell in love with Australia. The laid back life style, the warm tropical air, the people... Being miles from home, I slowly started to feel better, not ready to face reality though, but the sunshine and lifestyle healed me a little, and then I met Alice. She was..is beautiful and she was really interested in me, just plain, boring Lofty. Normally she would have been out of my league but for some reason when we met, we just clicked.”

Lofty glanced up for a moment to watch TV and gather his thoughts 

"I was overwhelmed but she made me feel good, like I mattered, I told her about everything. She helped me find myself and rebuild my confidence. I owe her so much. She didn't belittle me, she reassured me that it was a tragic accident. She put me back together in a sense and the feeling of helplessness seemed to disappear and I was happy. I guess somewhere along the way I got the different kinds of love mixed up. I was so thankful for everything she’d done for me. We were chatting and she said she loved me. I returned the sentiment. I did. I loved her. A few weeks later we were sitting down and we discussed the future, about going back to the UK. I wasn't ready, but then she suggested that it would be lovely to have a wedding back home. I agreed, then she proposed over dinner. I was so...thrown by the conversation I didn't answer immediately, then I could see she had begun to panic, so I said yes. I thought it was what I wanted, but as the day got closer, it was happening too quickly, I had little control and I felt not panic so much but acceptance that this was how it was meant to be. Then I fell for her brother.. " Dom glanced up in surprise "... Which just confused me to be honest, we didn't see eye to eye at first, then we went to a concert together. We were watching the show and I was awashed with a sense of calm. I fell for him too, though I didn’t really understand at the time, I don't think it was because I couldn't accept myself as liking men, but more I couldn't interpret my feelings correctly and take that leap, but I knew then that I couldn't continue to lead Alice on. A part of me felt I owed her, as she helped me get better, but then I realised how unfair that was on her, I couldn’t give her what she wanted”

Dom sat up to look at Lofty, he looked unsure for a second  
“So how do you know this is real?” He asked with interest and a hint of insecurity  
“I feel secure with you” Lofty answered quietly  
“But you felt secure with Alice, she helped rebuild your confidence” Dom questioned  
“She rebuilt my confidence, but somewhere along the way, I became confused. I loved her and I loved Lee. I loved them both, at the same time but just in different ways…to be honest while I dated when I was a teenager, as an adult I was never attracted to a woman or a man. I was so focused on my friends, college, living life or work. People just assumed I was interested in girls, and well people got very mixed up as I was so friendly to girls” Lofty said with a smile thinking about Robyn  
“So how do I know you are not confused about this? About us?” Dom asked in a slightly more urgent tone  
“I…I didn’t see either Lee or Alice in my future, I was so busy focusing on the present but with you…I see a future. I want there to be a future with you…do you see the same with me?” Lofty asked his sensitivity and insecurity making an appearance  
“I told your Gran I did, I saw us in 50 years, arguing over the last custard cream in matching cardigans…I just want to know you feel the same” Dom answered calming his nerves  
“Matching cardigans? Of course there would be matching cardigans. And come on, you know I’ll give you the last custard cream” Lofty added making Dom smile before looking serious “I love you, that’s why I waited so long to say it, I wanted it to be right, to be genuine, to be the love that has passion and romance, not the love of a friend like Robyn, I wanted to be sure, to be certain, to be secure…and it was. I see a future with you, I know we haven’t started planning the wedding, but the ideas doesn’t scare me…it’s a commitment. I know I am committed to you, and I hope you are committed to me?” Lofty ended a little worriedly  
“I am” Dom said finally with a small smile “Thank you for telling me about Alice, I just, I have to make sure, I need everything to work out well, I know I feel secure with you and safe. I’ve never got this far in a relationship…and in the interest of being honest, you are not the first man I proposed to” Dom said making eye contact with Lofty  
“No?” Lofty said surprised  
“I proposed to another guy, on the spur of the moment, on New Year’s eve…I had messed him around, and like you I panicked when I realised he was leaving me, I didn’t want to be alone. I asked him to marry me and he told me to seek help.” Dom finished awkwardly “But it wasn’t anything serious, truthfully I know I would have backed out of it, but then Arthur took up my time, and then Isaac…I thought at one point he could be the one…but as you can tell he obviously wasn’t…and wow that’s more sharing than I planned to do tonight” Dom said awkwardly knowing he’d given Lofty a lot to take in, but Lofty as always took it in his stride and just looked at him with interest  
“So you proposed because you didn’t want to be alone?” Lofty clarified  
“I proposed because… earlier I was trapped in a lift and had to perform surgery on a man, and afterwards the sense of relief it gave me to be free from that confined space, the adrenalin I guess, I decided I didn’t want to be alone, and I suddenly realised what a good thing I had with Kyle, and that I had been stupid to take it for granted and hurt him. I definitely learnt a lot from that relationship, then went in the entire opposite direction with Isaac. I’ve never been good with relationships and somehow I always end up messing up” Dom said quietly  
“But he refused, he saw what it was?” Lofty asked regarding the proposal  
“Kyle was a carer, but he was smart, kind and caring…very much like you actually, he figured it out, figured me out actually” Dom said as an afterthought “But I never thought of a future, it was an on the spur moment. I never felt that the way I feel with you, with Kyle or Isaac or anyone.”  
“Look I know we don’t really talk about it, but with Isaac, you did nothing wrong. It wasn’t your fault that relationship didn’t work out. You do know that right?” Lofty asked with conviction  
“I sometimes need reminding, the thing is, like you and going to Australia, it’s something that gets better, but never entirely leaves you” Dom confessed  
“OK you do your best supporting me with those feelings, and I will keep reminding you deserve everything and how important you are” Lofty said with a gentle look reserved only for these moment with Dom.  
“So a partnership, 50/50 supporting each other?” Queried Dom with a smile  
“Of course” Lofty said holding out his hand, and Dom took it pulling him into a kiss.  
“Well as long as you are sure?” Lofty clarified  
“100% it’s you I want, I want to be committed, I want to spend the rest of my life with someone good, who will look after me, and be good to me…and allow me to take care of them and make them feel secure. I want this to be 50/50 with everything, the planning, the wedding, the honeymoon, holidays…we have an equal right. If you don’t like something tell me, I Will do the same and yes I know, you’d let me have the last custard cream” Dom said with a smile  
Lofty looked at Dom softly, before leaning forward to meet him halfway in a kiss. A kiss full of hope, promise and commitment. A kiss reserved for Lofty and Dom, alone.


End file.
